Body Image and Pregnancy

First and foremost, if you are pregnant, have recently had a baby, or plan to have a baby in the future, read this article.  Elisa Donovan (from Clueless fame) always writes awesome blog posts, and this one on body image during and after pregnancy is no exception.  I totally related to this as I feel the #1 topic of conversation since I've gotten pregnant has been weight gain...how I've gained so little, how I've gained so much, how I'm carrying, how I compare to other pregnant ladies, etc, etc, etc.  Everyone has an opinion, and it's always different from the one before.  Every other amazing thing that's going on with my body and what people most want to know is how much weight I've gained.  "Oh I've gained around 15 pounds, but did you know there's a baby forming and growing inside me?" I'm kind of a rockstar (in my opinion).  Seriously though, why is weight the main thing people want to know about when you're pregnant?

I feel like I have always been obsessed with my body.  As far back as I can remember I've read nutrition labels, counted calories in my head, checked restaurant menus online ahead of time to pick the healthiest option, fretted over eating something "naughty" and beaten myself up for giving into a craving.  I've been a faithful gym go'er for years (pretty much everyday) and I'm often guilty of allowing my mood to be determined by how many calories I burned on the treadmill.  I like to tell myself that eating healthy and exercising regularly are good for me, enjoyable even.  This is of course true (daily exercise and a healthy, balanced diet are good for you), but also equally true is the fact that I exercise and eat well because I'm terrified of not being thin, of my clothes not fitting, of not being able to easily finish a 5K, of the needle on the scale moving too far to the right.  I do enjoy preparing healthy meals and hitting the gym because I like how it makes my body feel, but I also do both because of how it makes my body look.  There's a very fine line between those two perspectives and it's hard not to focus on the latter.

It's funny how these perspectives change when you get pregnant.  I'm definitely enjoying pregnancy in the sense that if I crave Milo's french fries or a dipped ice cream cone from Dairy Queen, I eat it, where before I would rarely splurge on such a treat. It's fun going out to dinner and really enjoying whatever it is I'm eating rather than stressing over the calories. Likewise, if I feel tired and just want to lay on the couch all day watching Food Network, I'll do it, and probably feel ok about it.   Now don't get me wrong, I'm still cautious of what goes in my mouth, and I still do some sort of exercise most days, but my reasoning is for sure different.  Granted I don't want to gain a ton of baby weight, I also want to be a healthy role model for our baby boy, and more importantly, I want to be a strong and healthy "temporary home" for him.  After all, whatever I'm eating, he is eating.  Plus I truly believe that if Asher becomes accustomed to healthy foods in the womb, he'll like them later on.  Not to mention the research that has shown that mamas that eat well and exercise while pregnant, have babies that are healthier, smarter and just easier in general.  That's enough to keep me in the gym, protein shake in hand.  But don't be surprised to find me scarfing down pizza later that night :) 

Oh, and that expanding belly I have? LOVE IT. I find myself staring at it in the mirror all the time, just amazed. I feel really strong and beautiful...and proud. And I don't feel beautiful just because other people may tell me that I look great "to be almost 7 months pregnant." (I swear they might as well just say, "Well, considering your circumstances, you look fine."  Umm, thanks.)  I feel beautiful because I'm growing a human being inside me. A little human y'all.  How you like them apples.