IMPORTANT! New Blog!!

So....I've been mulling over this idea for a while now. I use the term "idea" loosely, because it's more of a lifeline I'm trying to throw myself to not give up blogging completely. Or, to feel confident in blogging about what I actually want to blog about. Before Asher Wade, I loved to blog about anything and everything...food, fitness, beauty products, travel, our dogs, etc, etc, etc. After Asher Wade, all I really wanted to write about was, well, Asher Wade. Or things related to him and my new life as a mommy. Some days I wanted to sing his praises and tell everyone how awesome being a mom is. Some days all I wanted to do was *itch and moan about how hard it is to be a working mom, hiding my tear-stained face of defeat behind this computer screen. Regardless, it all still came back to him and my obsession with being his mom. I was paranoid to write about mommy-land all the time, so I just didn't write at all. But then I had this revelation. Who cares?! This is my personal little outlet and my personal little blog, so shouldn't I write about whatever in the heck strikes my fancy?

Anyways, back to my idea. I'm ready to change things up a bit. I want to write about stuff that matters to me and stuff that may (or may not?) matter to other people. I want to write about the peaks and valleys of motherhood, and the craziness that is my life as a working mama...trying to parent the way I really want to, being present and 100% committed, even though the reality is that I just can't do it. I want to write about balance and then the chaos involved in trying to find that balance. That being dedicated to my career doesn't mean I'm not dedicated to my baby. How you can bring home the bacon (and the milk, hehe), and feel proud to do so. How you can have the best of both worlds. Most importantly, how being physically unattached to my baby for the most part of the waking hours does not mean I am unattached to him mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Surely if I care about this stuff then other moms must too. Because I know that if I've struggled with this, chances are, other moms have too. I mean, don't we all struggle with mommy guilt to some extent or another? Personally, I think that's the hardest part about being a mom...the constant guilt. Whether you stay home, work from home, work outside of the house, or maybe a combination, we all struggle with that mommy guilt and we all question whether we are doing a good enough job.

With that being said, I have decided to migrate this blog over to a new forum that more reflects where I want to go with my writing. Although I have no doubt that the new blog will still reflect my style of writing, I envision that it will be a lot more focused on parenting and mommy life, because to be honest, that kind of is my life right now...or at least a good part of it. So without further adieu, please visit me and follow along at the The Unattached Attachment Parent. I feel like this describes the kind of parent I am perfectly and I'm pretty proud of myself for coming up with this term;) I even figured out how to get my very own URL! {http://leannemcwilliams.com/}   Key the song "I'm so Fancy" right now because that's totally what I was singing when I figured this out. I also switched from Blogger to Wordpress because I found that I tended to gravitate more towards the cleanliness and simplicity of Wordpress blogs. It's been a process, and I'm still tweaking it a bit, but so far I'm pretty pleased with the new forum. I've migrated all of my posts over there and going forward this old blog will not get anymore love. I'll probably leave it up for a couple more months and then delete it. Make sure you start visiting me at the new site instead! Hope you enjoy!

On another note, I've been trying to figure out how to automatically redirect this page over to the new one.  If you know how to do this, can you please email me? {leanne.mcwilliams@gmail.com}  Many thanks!:-)

Asher Wade at 15 Months

Asher Wade, you are 15 months old!  You are a for real toddler now, I think.  This has been evidenced by the toddler tantrums we are now experiencing.  You are definitely a spirited little guy;)  You are so sweet and loving too.  You give huge bear hugs and kisses and you love to be loved on.  My favorite part of the day is when I pick you up from daycare and as soon as you spot me walking up, you literally run across the room straight in to my arms for a big hug.  It is the sweetest!  You are very intuitive and notice everything.  I've always felt like you sense my emotions, but now I watch as you intently observe me and other people...like you are trying to to figure out how they are feeling.  I really think you are going to have a lot of empathy as you grow, which is a wonderful trait.  You are also very sensitive and you get your feelings hurt easily.  You probably take after mama in that regard.

You have the funniest personality and the BEST laugh.  You think everything is hilarious, even if it's nothing at all.  Sometimes when we are driving around in the car you just start laughing for no reason.  This is particularly comical considering that you are still rear facing, so you can't even see much.  You just laugh anyways.  I wonder what you are thinking about.  You will also go stand in the middle of the room, look around at whoever is in there, and then start to cackle.  I think you kind of like the attention:-)  The cutest is when we get to school and you run to your classroom, stand at the baby gate, peer in and start to laugh when you see your little friends.  I just love your sweet spirit.

You are very social, but you like mommy or daddy to be near.  When we go places you want to get down and explore, but you always keep your eye on us and you run over every now and then for a reassuring hug.  You are stretching your independence a little, but you don't want to get too far away.  You are still a mama's boy for sure.  You also look over at us right before you do something you are not supposed to do.  It's like you want to make sure we are watching you be bad, ha!  This is kind of naughty, but it's hard not to laugh.  I remember thinking when you were just a little baby that you were mischievous and obviously I wasn't too far off.

Some struggles we have had this past month include refusing/throwing food.  It's hit or miss as far as whether you eat your meals.  You've become kind of picky and unless it's pasta, waffles, yogurt, fruit or cheese, you may chuck it right on the floor.  This is incredibly frustrating (and annoying), but everyone says it's just a phase.  You've also entered in to the tantrum throwing phase.  So far they have been relatively mild and end quickly.  Sometimes I can't help but laugh, which I think makes you even more mad.  You squeeze your eyes shut and tense up your whole body and just screech.  This especially happens when we take things away from you or try to make you sit still, like for a diaper change or something.  Biting has also been an issue, along with general bullying.  Your teachers say this is totally typical and that you are just all boy, but aye aye aye.

You weigh 27 pounds (90th percentile) and are 32.5 inches long (also 90th percentile).  You still have your arm rolls:-)  We are still nursing, although it's only a few times a day now (morning, nap time and bed time).  This is still very comforting for you and I don't want to take that away.  Plus it's about the only way you sit still long enough for me to love on you.  You love your coconut milk in a sippy cup.  You like water too, especially when you've been playing outside.  You also love iced tea, so we let you have small amounts of this for a treat.  You would live on fruit and yogurt if we let you.  These are actually two of my favorite foods as well, so I guess it shouldn't be too surprising.  You eat pretty well at school...probably because you are around your friends.  Sleep is pretty good.  You go down around 8 and wake up anywhere from 6:15-7:15. 

Other things you love are playing outside, swinging at the park, playing in the baby pool and splash pad, walking/running, riding around on your Thomas the Train, throwing the ball, other kids, bath time, climbing, pulling things out of cabinets and drawers, clapping, dancing (which looks more like squatting), giving high fives, talking (you say ball, book, and thank-you the most and then a bunch of stuff that we can't quite make out yet), music and songs (the ABC song is your favorite right now) Riley and Maddux, your teachers and little friends at school, Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Doc McStuffins, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, blueberries, strawberries, oranges, peanut butter sandwiches, string cheese, french fries, pasta with butter and cheese or pesto, blueberry waffles or pancakes, french toast, yogurt, fruit/veggie pouches, marshmallows and veggie sticks.  You do not like to eat things that have a weird texture and you're not overly crazy about meat.

I have to say that this has been my favorite stage so far.  Your personality is really coming out and you are just so much fun!  Daddy and I love you so very much.  I know I'm biased, but I pretty much think you are the most amazing little person.  I love being your mom.
 

 

Friday's Fave (things from this past week)

* This Shrimp and Corn Risotto was a yummy and healthy recipe we tried.  Risotto can be a little time consuming, but it's pretty foolproof.  We prepped everything the night before, so besides the time you have to spend stirring, it's a pretty quick weeknight meal.  Use fresh corn...it makes a difference.

* I did our weekly grocery trip at the Walmart and you know what, it was cheaper, and it wasn't completely terrible.  I'm known to be kind of a grocery store snob.  Only because I'm a pretty healthy eater, and a vegetarian, so it's often just easier to go to Whole Foods.  The problem with WF is that I still usually have to make a trip to Publix to get a few other items that WF doesn't carry, then CVS for some drugstore items, and then still Target or Walmart for bulk household items.  This all adds up, and wastes my time.  By going to the one stop shop Walmart, I got everything.  In one trip.  And saved some money.  And (unfortunately?) I didn't even witness any of those "People of Walmart."

* I started reading What Alice Forgot a few days ago and I seriously can't put it down.  It's been awhile since I've read a book that keeps me from wanting to pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow, but this one is a page turner for sure.  She also wrote The Husband's Secret, which is another great read.

* I booked the hotel for mine and Matt's very first weekend away by ourselves.  Yes Asher Wade is 15 months (he'll actually be 17 months by the time we go) and this is long overdo, but it's just been a struggle for me to leave him.  Sure we're only going 3 hours away to Nashville and it's technically because I have a work conference, but we will have 3 nights all to ourselves and we can sleep in till whenever we want.  I.cannot.wait.

* Asher Wade didn't come home with any dreaded yellow notices this week (this is what they get when they bite).  After receiving two notices last week, I was at my wits end with the biting, but maybe we are turning a corner now?

Show Us Your Life: Makeup

I haven't linked up with Kelly's Korner blog for the S.U.Y.L. series in quite a while, but since I actually found myself scrolling through all the various entries on today's topic, I thought I would join in.  Today was all about makeup.  My makeup routine is actually pretty simple.  I'm not a huge makeup person and I prefer not to feel it or notice it much at all.  Personally I think the goal of makeup should be to look like you aren't wearing any.  I just want something to blur my imperfections and make me look like I've gotten eight hours of sleep rather than the six I usually get.  #momproblems 

My go-to routine is as follows:

 

Dior skin Nude BB Cream.  I use this instead of foundation. I can't stand the feeling of foundation on my face, but I do need some light coverage.  This evens out my skin nicely and is super lightweight.  My only complaint is that the SPF is not high enough (only 10), so I still have to use sunscreen underneath.

 

 

 

I use Dior Hydra Life BB Eye Crème under my eyes to cover any darkness.  This blends really well and is also very light.

 

 

To give my cheeks some color I use Benefit cheek stain.  I love this stuff.  It's lightweight and sheer and just soaks right in to your skin.  It gives you that I just worked out look.

 

 

 

For mascara I use Bobbi Brown Extreme Party.  I've used this for awhile and I like it just fine, but to be honest, I can't say I like it better than others I've used, including drugstore brands.  I don't wear mascara everyday and as long as it doesn't clump or flake, I'm fine with it. 

 

 

 

I don't really wear lip stick, but I always have on my favorite Rosebud Strawberry Lip Balm.  I keep these all over the house, in my purse, car and office.  I love it that much.

 

 

 

That's my usual everyday routine.  I told it was simple!  If I'm going out somewhere special, or it's date night, I may add some eye shadow or eyeliner.  I use Bobbi Brown shadows in colors like Bone, Shell and Taupe and the Perfectly Gel eyeliner in Steel Grey.  If I want a little extra pop of color on my cheeks I add Nars blush in Orgasm which is pretty much the most versatile blush out in there.

 

 

 

Anything you use and love that I should try?? 

Friday's Faves {little pieces of life I've been loving lately}

* I'm loving the splash pads all over town this summer

* I'm loving that with all the sweet, tiny, white gowned babies being dedicated at church on Sunday, our rambunctious, loud, snack eating, linen overall clad toddler (because who makes christening gowns for a 28 lb. 15 month old??) still stole the show with his clapping and random announcements that there was a "ball" in the audience. #toddlerlife

* I'm loving my church and my small group and the fact that we spent the day together helping others in our community #serveday14

* I'm loving this song...

 

* I'm loving that after a few VERY hectic weeks, we have NOTHING on the calendar for this weekend. 

 

What are you loving lately?

Taking Stock

I got this list idea from here and thought it would be fun to "take stock" every now and then.  Join in if you would like...

 

LIFE LATELY

 

Eating: brown rice with diced avocado and tofu "chicken"
Drinking: ridiculous amounts of water and iced tea

Reading: blogs that make me smile
Waiting: for the weekend...alwaysLooking: for ideas of what to hang over our couch

Wanting: a king size bed for our master bedroom
Playing: ball with Asher Wade

Deciding: which house project we want to do first (fencing in the backyard versus re-doing the deck)

Enjoying: family being in town

Wishing: Asher Wade would sleep in on the weekends
Wondering: if I'm doing OK as a wife and mother

Loving: fresh squeezed orange juice

Watching: House of Cards

Needing: a beach vacation

Wearing: cotton sundresses

Buying: random stuff for the new house
Desiring: a simpler life

Friday's Faves

Happy Friday!  We have a b.u.s.y. weekend ahead of us.  Both mine and Matt's parents are here (yay!) and Asher Wade is being dedicated at church on Sunday.  I feel like the worse mom ever that my child is just now being dedicated at almost 15 months old.  In my defense, we wanted both sets of grandparents to be here, and that's not always the easiest thing to coordinate when they live in FL and KY.  Still though, I probably should have gotten on the ball long ago.  #mommyfail  Oh well.  We are looking forward to celebrating with friends and family on Sunday (and eating cake).

Some other faves of the week:

* I love that TimeHop app on my iPhone!  Have you downloaded this?  It's so much fun because it posts a daily picture from one year ago.  It's such a fun walk down memory lane each morning.  Here's what was posted yesterday...

* I have been meaning to post about this Miraval rose wine for awhile now, but keep forgetting.  It is fabulous.  I don't even particularly like rose, but when we were in Seaside a couple months ago, our waiter recommended it so I gave it a try, loved it and came home with a bottle.  It's actually from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's winery in Provence, France, which I think is pretty cool.  I'm having a hard time finding it right now though.  It's sold out everywhere! 

Sorry about the poor quality picture and the fact that the bottle is almost empty.  Actually, who am I kidding, not sorry one bit about it being empty;)

* I feel like I haven't posted about any books I've read lately.  To be honest, it takes me a lot longer to read a book these days.  The only time I have to read is right before bed, and often I'm just so exhausted that I can't keep my eyes open long enough to get through a few pages.  Still though, I've read a couple good ones lately....The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd (loved this one!), When I Found You by Catherine Ryan Hyde (a little slow, but a sweet story nonetheless) and Let It Go by Karen Ehman (this is what we followed in the small group I recently led...great Christian "self help" book).  The next book I'm planning to read is Goldfinch by Donna Tartt.  I hear this one is really good...

 

 

* I posted about trying this last week I think, but watermelon juice is definitely a fave now.  I'd love to have a bottle a day, but since it's a little pricey, I try to just have it a couple times a week.  So hydrating and refreshing on these hot summer days.  I find mine at Whole Foods.

* I shared this article on Facebook a couple weeks ago, but it's so darn funny, I think I'll post here.  The Honest Toddler (who if you are not following, you need too, stat) explains "How to Breastfeed Appropriately" with his usual sarcasm.  Some fabulous one-liners that will have you lol'ing for sure.

Red, White and Bluegrass

Hello!  We just returned from a fun trip in Kentucky visiting Matt's side of the family and I thought I would share some pictures from our long weekend (5 days!).  We had such a great time visiting with everyone and carting Asher Wade around to meet friends and family.  He just ate up all the attention and was such a little social bug.  We've been going through some stranger anxiety, so I was thrilled that (for the most part) he was super friendly.  Those toddlers...you just never know how they are going to be on a day to day basis;)  Anyways, I'll let the pictures do the talking...
 

We had a (very short) boat ride our first morning. After realizing that the life jacket was too big, we had to head back.

Baby on a boat!

AW enjoyed playing with the Lucas kids

 

Baby in a bucket...one of his favorite toys of the trip

Lots of fun playing outside.  The weather was fabulous!

Potluck at Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Patrick's house

Not often we get a picture of all 3 of us

My people:-)

I could just eat him up

Guarding the wine;)

Sweet cousins...Jake, AW and Will

Jake, AW, Will and Luke

Just some outtakes of the many attempts

More fun playing outside with the big boys.  Growing up so fast...

AW was absolutely enamored with Will.  Se sweet! 

We were invited to the pool by some family friends and had a great time swimming and playing (and stuffing our faces).

Since they couldn't be at his 1st birthday party back in April, we had a little belated celebration with an ice cream cake.

Visiting with Paw Paw

Poor guy had quite the diaper rash while we were there, so we had lots of naked time on the porch.

Stretching our legs at a gas station on our way home.

Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!  Thankful to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave!!

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you were younger (which may not be that long ago for some of y'all!)?  I always think back to how different my professional life turned out compared to what I thought I would be doing.  It's funny how that happens.  I know some people that just always knew what they wanted to do...and they are currently living that dream!  It seems like I hear this a lot amongst my teacher friends and my nurse friends.  I think you definitely have to have a passion for both of those careers, so it makes sense that they have careers in areas they were already passionate about at a young age.

Who wouldn't want to be Batman?!

I enjoy being a lawyer...it's interesting and very challenging...but I don't know that I would say I am "passionate" about it.  I mean, one can only be so passionate about corporate and securities law;)  When I was young, or really all the way through my first couple years of college, I thought for sure I would go in to the medical field.  I actually thought a lot about being an OBGYN or possibly a vet.  I think both of those areas of medicine seem very rewarding.  I loved the idea of bringing new life in to the world every day and of course since I love animals so much, a career in veterinarian medicine seemed like an obvious choice.  Then I discovered one little problem.  I don't like blood so much.  Ha!  When I worked in surgery a couple summers during my undergrad years I got queasy pretty often, especially if it was something out of the ordinary.  (I remember once when a guy had to have his leg amputated during an emergency surgery and I thought I was going to pass out.)  It just didn't appeal to me as much after that experience.  I can't stand to see animals in any sort of pain or suffering, so that made the veterinarian route problematic as well.  Needless to say, I ended up going in a different direction and majored in health care administration, which then led to law school, and now has me working for a health care company.  I'm still in health care per se, but not on the actual medical side. 

I probably wanted to be all of these things at some point or another

Still though, I often wonder what would have been had I chosen another direction, or maybe if I had just stuck it out a little longer.  Maybe I would have gotten over my fears and it would have become second nature.  (Not that watching someone's leg sawed off would ever become second nature.)

 

What about y'all?  Are you doing what you always thought you would be doing, or are you doing something completely different?  Are you happy with your career?  Or maybe you are a stay at home mom.  Was becoming a mom always your lifelong dream?  Would you do things different if you could go back?

Linus got it right:-)

Oh, and for what it's worth...if I could do things over, I would probably go the teaching route, but at the college level.  I would love to be a professor.

Over the weekend...

(Forgot to post this yesterday...whoops!)

You can see the big goose egg and bruise on his forehead in this picture.  Suposedly he was trying to (ah hem) bite someone at school and when they moved out of the line of fire, AW went head first into the door frame.  I feel bad for him, but I guess it kind of serves him right.  Who am I kidding....that kid should have just taken it like a man;)

Just some fun at the park on a hot Saturday afternoon

 

Splash pad and pool to cool down

Looking like a big boy before church on Sunday

Rocking the tank top and camo shorts #proudsoutherner #redneckbabydontcare

 

Totally random, but Whole Foods is selling this fresh pressed watermelon juice in the produce section and it is perfect for these hot summer days!